Home Days

Being at home seems weird. Today was a good day, but now at the end of it I feel strange. Knowing that I still cannot get out with Victoria makes being home a little harder than I thought it would be. I would love to see family and friends and attend church, but I have been informed by the doctors to still keep her in for about four more weeks. Even after four weeks, I've been told to "be careful" with how much close contact she gets with people. For that reason, the doctors tell me to keep her at a distance from other children. Children are big "germ carriers" I've been told. I guess I know that to be true with two young children of my own. Mark and I were relatively a "well household" before children came along. Since kids, we've been exposed to viruses and such. I have to even be careful with how much I let Elyssa and Natalie around Victoria. We are kinda playing by the same rules as we did before Victoria's surgery for a little while longer. I'll be glad when this period of recovery is over.

Mark and I were told that Victoria's sternum is to be treated like a broken bone, since it was cut to perform her open-heart surgery. For that reason, we cannot lift her under her arms for a long time. We have to "scoop" her up. It's amazing the things you have to remind yourself of when handling her. When you've had two other kids that you cared for without these types of issues, you get use to doing things a certain way. I'm having to re-train myself in many things.

Life will continue to be interesting. As soon as Victoria is finished with her official "recovery" period, we should be able to begin in-home therapy for her. I look forward to being able to help train her in some things that will be useful to her development. I just pray that I can do a good job for her. I can't help but feel that her development rests in my hands. That is a lot of pressure, but I will do the best I can. I want her to have as many opportunities as possible to develop into a bright, young girl.

I was told by an occupational therapist at UAB that Victoria is pretty unorganized with her feeding patterns. The bad habits I mentioned in a few blogs earlier showed themselves when I tried feeding Victoria with the OT present yesterday before we left UAB. I'm planning on meeting with a lactation consultant tomorrow to get further help with nursing. It will be interesting to see if anything comes out of my meeting. Hopefully, she can coach me in some techniques that will help Victoria feed better and quicker.

Yes, interesting days lie ahead for the Messick family. I don't claim to think things will ever be "normal" again, but maybe in time I will find a more "comfortable" place than I'm in right now. Maybe I won't be so worried that Victoria's sisters won't hurt her by mistake. Maybe I won't worry about her health and her recovery. Maybe I'll feel "carefree" again. But, maybe I won't. Because, isn't that what being a parent is all about?