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Monday, September 8, 2008

My Mind Is A Blur

The past few days have been emotionally, mentally and physically draining for me. My life has been so busy that my mind seems a blur. Ever been there? At times, I find myself longing for the slower pace that I knew in my youth.

I grew up in, what my friends called, "the country." Back then, I spent so much time enjoying my surroundings and nature. I loved going outside and looking at the stars. I loved hearing the insects singing in the afternoon hours, as long as they were not attacking me. I enjoyed watching the birds and just being "quiet." I was a deep thinker back then. Can you believe I had some of my best quiet times cutting grass! Yes ... some of you may not believe this, but I actually enjoyed cutting grass on our riding mower! I would put my headset and bathing suit on, and go riding for hours. I'd work on my tan, sing and have quiet time all at the same time!

It was easy in those days to focus my mind. No one needed much of me. As long as I finished my chores or school work, my time was my own. I was not pulled in a lot of directions and I could "think straight."

As there is a time and season for everything, the season I'm living in right now is very unfocused. I feel as though I'm being pulled in a million different directions. Everyone needs something of me and at times, I feel I have nothing left to give. My brain is on overload and I feel myself longing for more quiet moments. I know many of you may think to yourselves, "Well, that is what you get when you have three babies in a little less than 3 years!" You have every right to say that, I suppose. But, I don't believe for a moment that any of my children are a mistake. I do believe, in the midst of my craziness, that everything in my life right now truly IS a blessing and ordained of God.

So, as insane as I feel right now, I'm am constantly brought to my knees to ask Almighty God to simply "help me." I am reminded daily, no second-by-second, that I can do NOTHING without the Lord's help. It's only in Him that I can function and not lose my mind in the process.

May God slow my busy thoughts and help me once again ponder over His wonderful works. May He give me time for me! May He help me take time to breathe deeply, relax and enjoy this crazy ride.

PS - Here are a few recent pictures I thought you'd enjoy!

This is my brother, Alan, and his wife, Mandy, with Victoria. We all watched the Alabama game at my parent's house this past Saturday. Roll Tide!

Mark looks so handsome with his pretty baby girl!

Victoria gave a cute smile in this photo!

Last, but not least, I had to share a video of Natalie. She ate some chocolate pudding for the first time the other day. She made a TOTAL mess, but loved her pudding. This video is hilarious to me, except I remember the pain of cleaning her up afterwards! Hope you enjoy it!

3 comments:

The Lockwood Fam said...

Hey! Victoria is getting sooooo big. I got caught up on the blog. Too fun. Love the pics and the video of Elyssa and "chi-ehp". Ha!

Shana Hodge said...

Want some more pudding Momma!

Scarlyte Collette said...

Hello Heather! You and your family are so beautiful and such a blessing and joy to me. I love check in on your blog. Thanks for taking the time to share it all with us. Thanks also for you and Mark reaching out during our loss of Bowden. Love you!