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Friday, May 23, 2008

Hospital Observations

As we have been in the hospital for so long now, I've observed a few things. I'd like to share them with you. I call this segment of my blog ... "What Is With ...."

1. What is with the towels they give you in a hospital? They are about the size of a hand towel and thinner than a sheet of paper. Who can expect you to dry your entire body off with a towel of that size? By the time you get done drying your body off with this little towel, it is actually as wet as the rag you just used in the shower. What's the point?

2. What is with the paging system in hospitals? The nursing station can make a page that every room hears through a speaker in their individual room. Mark and I must've heard the same woman paged on our speaker a million times the first night we were in our room. We kept waiting for the nursing station to send out a page like, "Where the heck is Sarah???"

3. What is with the cafeteria ladies and men that all say the word "dietary" the same way? There must be a mandatory rule that employees of the cafeteria have to stretch that word out as long as possible when they say it. It's a special treat for Mark and me to hear that word three times every day. For example: "die .... ah .... tarrrrr ... ie"

4. What is with the menu that they ask you to fill out with your meal choices for each day? The items you circle on the menu are never brought to you. Instead, you are brought completely different items that you never requested. You wonder when you receive your tray at each meal, "Did they give my tray to the person next door?", because none of the items you asked for are on your tray.

5. What is with the little shower nozzle that dangles down over the toilet in hospital room bathrooms? Enough said.

5. What is with the fold out chairs and couches in the hospital? When they fold out, they are not long or wide enough to fit a person comfortably. You might as well have brought a sleeping bag and slept on the hard floor during your stay. Mark would say that sleeping on the floor (or cramming in the twin bed with me) is better than all of your limps dangling off the sides and ends of the fold-out chair.

One last word to all ... "DIETARY!!!"


Anonymous said...

Okay, I am just rolling on the floor laughing!!!!! I think all the nighttime alarms from last night are catching up to you! In all honesty, I'm so glad to see Victoria doing so well and so glad to see you are in such good spirits during what I'm sure has been a difficult time. I look forward to reading your blog updates every day to get the latest on Victoria and it is so refreshing to be able to laugh in the process! I've been humbled as I've "watched" you two go through this whole experience. It has made me draw closer to the Lord and just to thank Him every day for what He's done in my life, both through good times and bad.

We're praying for you guys every day, and for your other two girls back home while you are away. Thank you for opening your heart. I look foward to the latest on Victoria, and hopefully some more of your humor to go along with it!

Jackie Parks


Great perspective. Heather, all I can say is you better get use to the fold outs. You need to learn to scope out the other rooms when they are empty you will be surprised but sometimes you might be able to score a better pull out bed from another room. Just sharing some FYI.

I have been laughing at this blog .. Please share more of your "what is with" I believe this to be a great way to pass the day.

I love the photos. Victoria is just so pretty. I am glad she is setting off the alarms it only means she is still growing stronger.

I thank God for giving you a great day.

All our love,
Angela Ballard
and the crew

Anonymous said...

Wanna freak out the nurses? Get Mark on the paging system introducing everyone to Wobert Wickenbocker. You know the famous wailwoad engineah?

I can assuwe you wives will be twanged fow-eh-vah!!!

Anonymous said...

O.K. Heather, I believe you are now having hospital "itis." Better be careful or you will be setting off alarms. Glad to see some humor in your blog. I know this has been a difficult time for you and Mark. Victoria is better and that makes you and Mark better. Our love and prayers are with you all. In a few days you will be in your own bed and Victoria will be in hers. Good night and hold on to Mark so he won't fall off the bed.

Shirley Woodruff