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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Moment By Moment

As I sit at the desk in our hotel room tonight, I feel so tired. Our day has been so long and so full of many emotions. It was a relief to know that Victoria's surgery was over and that she was in recovery. However, when we were able to go back and see her in the recovery room, my heart ached for her.

Victoria's incision was covered with a bandage and two tubes ran out from her chest helping with the drainage. It was very hard to look at, and to be honest, Mark and I felt queezy at the sight. We had become accustomed to her breathing tube and other wires, but the blood visible in her additonal chest tube made it very difficult for us. To be honest, that's the most blood I'd ever seen in my life. I had to take a few deep breaths to make it through the visit. I didn't want to leave her because of my uncomfortable feelings, but it was also hard to be with her.

While in Victoria's room, the nurse explained that tomorrow they will begin trying to ween her off of her breathing tube. They will probably lesson her medications so she may wake up a little, but they still plan to keep her relaxed so she is not tempted to pull at her wires or tubes. The on-call doctor came in the room to share with us that she was doing very well. There were a lot of things discussed and I will probably share those things in a future blog because my brain is on overload at the moment.

I feel myself wanting to be excited about Victoria's recovery, but honestly, I feel "cautiously optimistic". It's a phrase Mark and I use often. I pray all continues to progress well, but I still feel so worried about her. I know Victoria has a long road ahead of her. I think I just want to take one moment at a time and just thank the Lord when that moment passes without her having any problems or complications. I guess sometimes you just have to take days like that ... moment by moment.

PS - You will see a photo of Victoria in her recovery room.
PSS - If you look back at "The Longest Walk" you will see newly added photos of us with Victoria this morning right before she was taken from the RNICU to surgery.



Mark and Heather
I am so glad you finally got to see her in recovery. I think that will always stick with you. You are right about savoring every moment by moment. You have to make sure you appreciate the things and time you spend with her. Always reflect at the end of the day with a praise to God for another day with her.

We are praying for you and Victoria.

Brianna wants you to know that she is sorry you are hurting like this and wants you to know she loves you both. She understands your pain.

love and prayers,
Angela Ballard
and the crew

Allison said...


As I held my Jeremiah this morning and we prayed for Victoria, the chorus to this song pricked my ears. It seems so fitting ....

I call, You hear me
I’ve lost it all
And it’s more than I can bear
I feel so empty

You’re strong
I’m weary
I’m holdin’ on
But I feel like givin’ in
But still You’re with me

And even though I’m walkin’ through
The valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I’ve been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will
Ever need
And He will carry me

I know I’m broken
But You alone
Can mend this heart of mine
You’re always with me


And even though I feel so lonely
Like I’ve never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said you’d see me through
The storm

"He Will Carry Me" by Mark Schultz

Continued strength,

Allison Lawrence