A view into the life of a family who encountered a different future than expected, but has become all the richer for it.

Download Heather's NEW Album!!

Download or order a copy of Heather's NEW album Meet Us Here from www.cdbaby.com/heathermessick

Visit Heather's BandPage!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Going Home

I drove home yesterday afternoon to visit Elyssa and Natalie. It was about a 3 1/2 hour drive from Birmingham. Mark really had to convince me to leave, but I knew that I needed to see my other girls. I didn't realize how much I had missed them until I saw them.

First, there was Elyssa, my eldest. When I walked in the door, I heard my dad say, "Who's here? Who is it?" I couldn't see Elyssa at first because she was standing on the other side of the island in the kitchen. Then I could hear her little feet shuffling toward me. Then I saw her. She had this look of amazement on her face; like she couldn't believe it was really me. Her eyes were so bright and she had the cutest smile on her face. She just kept saying, "Mommy, mommy, mommy...," as she ran to me. I picked her up and hugged her so tight. We didn't let go of each other for a long time. And, yes ... I was sobbing. It was a "shoulder-shrug" cry. I told her how much I had missed her and how much I loved her. I tried to explain to her that Mama had been with Victoria in the hospital and that she is still really sick. I told her that I hope Victoria gets well really soon so she can come home and live with us again.

Natalie wasn't at the house when I initially got home. My mom had taken her to the doctor for cold symptoms. They arrived home around 7:40pm. When my mom and Natalie came in the door, Natalie looked pitiful. Her eyes looked "sick." I hugged her up and she actually reached for my mom again! I totally understand her doing that. She's only 16 months old and my mom has been there for her while she has been sick lately. My feelings were not hurt because I knew that she'd warm up to me soon. Actually, within about 10 minutes she was fine and jabbering about who-knows-what to me.

Today I'll be enjoying time with my girls and I'll either leave this afternoon or tomorrow morning to head back to Birmingham. I have already played outside with the girls and sang and played on the keyboard with Elyssa. We are having a great time!

My heart feels torn at times. I want to be here with my girls, but I also want to be with Victoria. I dread leaving Elyssa. I know it will be harder on her than Natalie. I've noticed today that if I walk off to do something, Elyssa will run toward me asking what I'm doing or where I'm going. She has a look of fear in her eyes like I'm going to leave her again. It makes me feel sad that she is dealing with that anxiety. I will just pray extra hard for her. I'll pray that God comforts her in an unexplainable way when I have to leave for UAB.



I didn't bring the camera with me, so the pictures you see are not recent of the girls. But, I couldn't help but put their faces up on the blog today. They are my heart!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you Heather! I have had many "shoulder-shrug" cries since I have been keeping up with your blog about Victoria and your whole family. Our family will continue to lift you up in our prayers. Though I do not know you personally, I feel like I know you better than I even know Mark. Thank you for your transperancy in all that is going on. I know that it can't be easy but it is so wonderful to be able to keep up with how Victoria is doing. We will make sure we really lift up Elyssa and you in the next few days since I am sure that will be very hard to leave again. I love you guys and wish we could come see you. Know that you guys are being bathed in prayer.
Deborah Walls

Anonymous said...

Mark and Heather,

Your messages each day are so very powerful….way beyond my ability to describe!

To read and to so vividly feel the warmth of your love for the Lord and for your precious children is so heart rendering.

I have constantly kept Victoria Jayne, and each of you, in my prayers. Hearing you pour your heart out each time you write really helps all of us to know how to pray for you. We know that the Lord “is” answering our prayers.

Soon you will be on I-65 headed south again….this time with a healthy wiggly little VJ in your arms. Praise the Lord!

All of us at NOMO love you guys!

Your friend in Christ,
John Colburn

Anonymous said...

IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR THAT YOU GOT TO GO HOME TO SEE THE GIRLS.. I KNOW THEY MISS U TERRIBLY (U AND MARK).. I REMEMBER MINE AT THAT AGE. BEEN LONG TIME AGO.. THEY ARE SO SWEET AND MISCHIEVIOUS AND PRECIOUS ALL IN ONE.. BUT ARE VERY VERY SMART AND USUALLY KNOW WHEN SOMETHINGS GOING ON OR IF MOMMY IS LEAVING OR NOT.. I KNOW WHEN U DO HAVE TO GO BACK TO B'HAM THAT ELYSSA WILL BE UPSET. AND WILL PROBABLY SPARK NATALIE TO REACT IN THE SAME WAY.. BUT BE STRONG AND KNOW THAT YOUR MOM IS A WONDERFUL GRANDMA AND THEY ARE STILL AT HOME (PLACE THEY KNOW AND HAVE THEIR OWN THINGS) AND GRANDPA (SORRY BRO. FATH NOT TO FORGET YOU TOO!) THEY'LL BE FINE AND U WILL TOO.. EVEN THOUGH I KNOW IF I WAS U I'D BE CRYING LIKE A BABY ALL THE WAY BACK NORTH UP I-65 OR ATLEAST FOR THE FIRST HOUR..YOU ARE SUCH A STRONG MOM AND THE GREATEST ROLL MODEL FOR ALL OF US OTHER MOMS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD.. REALLY HEATHER, YOU'VE BROUGHT ME CLOSER TO THE LORD THESE LAST FEW MONTHS.. AND CLOSE TO U AGAIN.. I'VE MISSED OUR FRIENDSHIP GREATLY.. I DIDN'T REALIZE OR GUESS I JUST PUT IT BEHIND ME, HOW FAR AWAY FROM THE LORD I HAD GROWN...AND IN READING YOUR BLOGS AND TALKING TO YOU HAS BEEN A TESTIMONY TO ME AND MY FAMILY. AND MANY OTHERS...I CAN ONLY HOPE AND PRAY THAT ONE DAY I CAN BE THAT CLOSE TO THE LORD AND HAVE THAT INNER PEACE AND COMFORT THAT HE'S GIVING U AND MARK AND FAMILY. AND HELPING YA'LL COPE WITH ALL OF VICTORIA'S ILLNESSES. SHE'S GONNA GET BETTER AND BETTER WE ALL KNOW IT AND ARE PRAYING FOR IT..AND FOR YOU TOO.. BE CAREFUL ON YOUR DRIVE BACK. I'LL BE PRAYING AND THINKING OF YOU GUYS EVERYDAY...WE LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU AND HOPE TO SEE ALL OF YOU SOON AT HOME IN SARALAND, AL!
LOVE,
ALLISON RICH

Anonymous said...

I wonder where Elyssa was today in MDO- I'm so glad you got to come home & visit with them! And I know how much it meant to the girls, Elyssa has asked us where you are & told us she misses you & Baby Victoria & her soft hair! So I can only imagine how joyful your visit was! Continued prayers for you all!

Ginny

Shana Hodge said...

I will be praying especially hard in the morning when it's time for you to leave. I'm praying for understanding for the girls to know why you are leaving and that you will be back! I hope that they can look back on this one day and remember it as such a special time with Grandma and PawPaw. I love you bunches and wish so bad that I could be there right now with you. But, that's coming soon! In about 5 weeks we will be heading to Mobile!

Love you!

Shana

Anonymous said...

They are so cute , and me and Brittney will be praying for you all, maybe it want be long til little Victoria will come home , We will be praying that for peace and comfort for you all. Thanks for keeping us all posted. Take Care and may God bless you all.


Peggy & Brittney Enzor

Anonymous said...

There's nothing like coming home to my children and having them run to me calling for Daddy. I also know exactly how hard it is to leave when they are sulking and sometimes crying when I leave...especially Claire.

I too will be praying extra hard for you, Elyssa, and Natalie tomorrow morning.

Thanks for your heart-felt words and feelings you have shared. God be with you.

Duane